I am officially on Day 5 of the BDS. Going by the calendar, I should be on Day 8, but I spent some extra time on some skills to get better at them. I had intended to post my days working through the books as they occurred, but that didn't happen. I'm having a bit of a hard time with some of the steps, so I'm hoping that repeating them here will help me move onward and upward.
My task for Day 1 was to "Record the Advantages of Losing Weight". That entailed making a list of reasons I want to lose the weight I need to. I'm already seeing areas of my list that I want to fine-tune, but here it is as it stands now:
1. I’ll be in better health.
2. I’ll make my loved ones proud.
3. I’ll live longer.
4. I’ll enjoy TTC.
5. Healthfully carry babies.
6. I’ll like myself more.
7. I’ll feel more in control.
8. I’ll have more confidence.
9. I’ll increase my self-esteem.
10. I’ll feel more outgoing.
11. I’ll do more things I love. (BEACH!!)
12. Less back problems.
13. Less general aches.
14. Less fear about things.
15. I’ll look better.
16. I’ll be more attractive to MM.
17. I’ll be able to wear a smaller size.
18. I’ll enjoy clothes shopping.
19. I won’t feel so self-conscious.
20. I’ll feel better physically.
21. I’ll have more energy.
22. I’ll be more physically fit.
23. I’LL FEEL AS IF I’VE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING BIG!!
As you see, some of them are superficial and some of them are important and related to my health. There are some things that I am going to add to the list, some that I'm going to take off and a few that I'm just going to combine into one item.
I read the list each morning before I get out of bed and again at 2:30 every day. I keep the list framed around the house and I also have it on a 3x5 card that I keep in my purse. The ones in my purse are there so I can pull them out and read them any time I am facing a craving or feel like eating when I'm not really hungry. At this point, I'm following the instructions more to the letter than applying them in theory. That's a problem I hope to eradicate this very instant. From here on out, I commit to READ my cards, not just peruse them, but to really digest the information I've given myself.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
They're here, they're here!!
My books were delivered yesterday and I was so excited that I wanted to start reading them right then and there. Unfortunately, I was still at work, so I had to flip through them and put them aside so I could do my job. Then, when we got home I wanted to read them again, but MM and I had already made plans for a Surf & Turf BBQ dinner and some fellowship. It wasn't until I headed to bed around 11:00 p.m. that I finally began to crack the first one open.
I basically read through the introductory chapters of BDS that got me to the first day of the 6-weeks. I'm planning on doing the same with the workbook tonight because tomorrow is my official first day. Just reading the first four chapters of BDS has taught me a lot. Here's some of the things I've learned.
1. BDS is based on Cognitive Therapy. Cognitive meaning "thinking", so the process is "thinking therapy". The emphasis is changing the dieter's thinking about, around, related to food.
2. This is going to repeat itself later, but being hungry won't kill me. For example, I was out working in the garden at 12 today. If I had been inside watching TV, I would have eaten lunch, just because it was lunch time. But, since I was occupied, when I did feel hunger sensations, I told myself, "You don't need to eat, you ate a late breakfast and can eat a healthy, filling lunch as soon as you're done with this task." Doing that resulted in my not eating "lunch" until 2 pm, but I didn't starve or pass out. With such a late lunch, I'll probably end up eating dinner, but no mid-afternoon snack, so I've already cut my calories down for the day. Isn't that great?!
3. This is going to take a big commitment and a lot of time. It's something I've said before, but "dieting" will be my new hobby. Well that's okay with me for a few reasons. A) It's not for forever. If I'm consistent and stick to what I'm doing, I'll be out of the losing weight phase in as little as 8 months. I'll average it out and say it'll take a year. Is that so bad for a MUCH LONGER lifetime of healthy living? Heck no! B) As time passes and the pounds come off, all of these steps will become second nature to me. I will cease to see it as a "diet" and it will simply become my lifestyle. After that, I'll be able to find something else to occupy my time and the options will be endless! C) I'm willing to do whatever it takes and this seems like the most painless, cost efficient option. Now, I'm not knocking these things, but here's what I'm NOT paying for: gym memberships - I have a HUGE back yard and a fit hubby who designs great workouts for me, plus a safe town where outdoor activities are encouraged, a personal trainer - see previous, weight loss counseling, diet pills, home meal delivery programs, online weight loss communities, pay-as-you-go systems such as Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and etc. See, if the BDS helps me get to the final result I'm hoping for, I will have done so without all those things, some of which are valid tools and some of which are gimmicks that people get sucked into. If, on the other hand, this doesn't work for me, I'm still going to be willing to do whatever it takes, but I'll just move on to the next least "painful" thing.
Well, that's what I've discovered so far and all that on just the first day of owning the books. Isn't that encouraging? It is for me! I can't wait to make these changes to my thinking and get on with losing! Yay!!
I basically read through the introductory chapters of BDS that got me to the first day of the 6-weeks. I'm planning on doing the same with the workbook tonight because tomorrow is my official first day. Just reading the first four chapters of BDS has taught me a lot. Here's some of the things I've learned.
1. BDS is based on Cognitive Therapy. Cognitive meaning "thinking", so the process is "thinking therapy". The emphasis is changing the dieter's thinking about, around, related to food.
2. This is going to repeat itself later, but being hungry won't kill me. For example, I was out working in the garden at 12 today. If I had been inside watching TV, I would have eaten lunch, just because it was lunch time. But, since I was occupied, when I did feel hunger sensations, I told myself, "You don't need to eat, you ate a late breakfast and can eat a healthy, filling lunch as soon as you're done with this task." Doing that resulted in my not eating "lunch" until 2 pm, but I didn't starve or pass out. With such a late lunch, I'll probably end up eating dinner, but no mid-afternoon snack, so I've already cut my calories down for the day. Isn't that great?!
3. This is going to take a big commitment and a lot of time. It's something I've said before, but "dieting" will be my new hobby. Well that's okay with me for a few reasons. A) It's not for forever. If I'm consistent and stick to what I'm doing, I'll be out of the losing weight phase in as little as 8 months. I'll average it out and say it'll take a year. Is that so bad for a MUCH LONGER lifetime of healthy living? Heck no! B) As time passes and the pounds come off, all of these steps will become second nature to me. I will cease to see it as a "diet" and it will simply become my lifestyle. After that, I'll be able to find something else to occupy my time and the options will be endless! C) I'm willing to do whatever it takes and this seems like the most painless, cost efficient option. Now, I'm not knocking these things, but here's what I'm NOT paying for: gym memberships - I have a HUGE back yard and a fit hubby who designs great workouts for me, plus a safe town where outdoor activities are encouraged, a personal trainer - see previous, weight loss counseling, diet pills, home meal delivery programs, online weight loss communities, pay-as-you-go systems such as Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and etc. See, if the BDS helps me get to the final result I'm hoping for, I will have done so without all those things, some of which are valid tools and some of which are gimmicks that people get sucked into. If, on the other hand, this doesn't work for me, I'm still going to be willing to do whatever it takes, but I'll just move on to the next least "painful" thing.
Well, that's what I've discovered so far and all that on just the first day of owning the books. Isn't that encouraging? It is for me! I can't wait to make these changes to my thinking and get on with losing! Yay!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Starting Stats
The only one I have today is that my weight this morning was 198 lbs. That stinks, but it's better than it was before we left for our trip to Corpus Christi. I weighed 199 then. So, that makes my OFFICIAL starting weight 198.
I haven't received my new BDS books, but I'm expecting them tomorrow. I'm not sure what the whole format is, so I don't know a whole lot about the goal setting. I do know where I'd like to be weight-wise, but since I'm not sure I should have a certain number in my head as part of the BDS, I'm not going to post it here. I'm also going to refrain from any kind of goal deadlines for right now. In the past, setting a certain date to lose x amount of lbs. by has almost always ended up in disappointment. Then I feel sorry for myself and wonder what the heck I'm doing wrong as I eat a conciliatory ice cream cone. That ain't gonna work.
I am planning on doing goal "rewards" for right now, but that may change as a result of my reading BDS. My first goal is to lose 10 lbs., getting myself down to 188, as quickly as is healthy. To reward myself for reaching that goal, I'm going to order The Amory Wars, Vol. 1 and I can't friggin' wait. (And yes, I am a HUMONGOUS nerd.) Last time I started a good weight loss plan, I lost 12 lbs. in a month, so I very well could just be 30 days away from ordering this. That's awesome. I'm not going to count on it or anything, but it's an exciting prospect. 12 lbs. a month isn't really healthy weight loss for the long-term, but it's probably okay for the first month. I just want to see if I can push myself to accomplish that again.
I've looked into the BDS a little more. I can't go into specifics since I'm just getting all of this from a bit of internet research, but I think I have a general idea of what's coming. What I've read so far from people that use the solution is really motivating and looks like it will have a positive effect on my efforts. Well, I need to get back to work before I run out of time, so I'm off!
My books come in tomorrow and I'll spend the weekend acquainting myself with them and work on getting some healthy food in the house. Off I go!
I haven't received my new BDS books, but I'm expecting them tomorrow. I'm not sure what the whole format is, so I don't know a whole lot about the goal setting. I do know where I'd like to be weight-wise, but since I'm not sure I should have a certain number in my head as part of the BDS, I'm not going to post it here. I'm also going to refrain from any kind of goal deadlines for right now. In the past, setting a certain date to lose x amount of lbs. by has almost always ended up in disappointment. Then I feel sorry for myself and wonder what the heck I'm doing wrong as I eat a conciliatory ice cream cone. That ain't gonna work.
I am planning on doing goal "rewards" for right now, but that may change as a result of my reading BDS. My first goal is to lose 10 lbs., getting myself down to 188, as quickly as is healthy. To reward myself for reaching that goal, I'm going to order The Amory Wars, Vol. 1 and I can't friggin' wait. (And yes, I am a HUMONGOUS nerd.) Last time I started a good weight loss plan, I lost 12 lbs. in a month, so I very well could just be 30 days away from ordering this. That's awesome. I'm not going to count on it or anything, but it's an exciting prospect. 12 lbs. a month isn't really healthy weight loss for the long-term, but it's probably okay for the first month. I just want to see if I can push myself to accomplish that again.
I've looked into the BDS a little more. I can't go into specifics since I'm just getting all of this from a bit of internet research, but I think I have a general idea of what's coming. What I've read so far from people that use the solution is really motivating and looks like it will have a positive effect on my efforts. Well, I need to get back to work before I run out of time, so I'm off!
My books come in tomorrow and I'll spend the weekend acquainting myself with them and work on getting some healthy food in the house. Off I go!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Living Life
The truth of the matter is that there is nothing so motivating as tragedy. MM's ex-step-sister passed away on May 28. She was only 22 years old. Her death has been hard on us, but we are comforted in knowing that she's moved on to happier places.
Her death has also been a swift kick-in-the-pants for me as far as life goes. Life is SO fragile and can be taken away in a moment, so why shouldn't we live each moment to the fullest? It's about time that I start. The only problem is that my life will never be lived to the fullest as long as I'm overweight. As soon as I was able to process the fact that Crystal was gone, I had to face ME. I was not happy with what I saw and felt and, to be quite honest, I knew in an instant that I did not want to end my life looking and feeling the way I do.
Figuring out what step to take next was rather difficult. I want something that I can do, but I don't want to give up some of the things I love (like cooking). I considered Nutrisystem for a few days by reasoning that I would still have to cook for MM. But, if I'm not able to eat the food I make, it's not as rewarding. So Nutrisystem was scrapped. Then, I really thought about what part of weight loss was really holding me back. Was it exercise? No, not really. I love to work out. Was it knowing what to eat? No, not that, either. I know what to eat and when to eat it. What could it be, then? The only thing I could come up with was that there was some psychological block I have. After coming to that realization, I started searching for a solution.
My first thought was a support group of some sort. I found a Weight Watchers group, but it's an hour away on Tuesday nights, so I would have to leave work early AND be driving home late in the evening. Not good. I then thought about an online support group, but no-dice. It's too easy to get out of it. You just don't go online that day. Finally, I found what I'm praying will be an answer.
I purchased three books by Dr. Judith Beck, The Beck Diet Solution, Weight Loss Workbook, and The Beck Diet for Life. From the research I've done, the "Beck Solution" is a 6-week program that centers on cognitive therapy methods. The main point is to show the reader why they haven't lost weight and correct those sabotaging behaviors.
With MM's blessing, I've ordered the books with 2-day shipping, so they should be here by Friday. I'm planning on spending much of my weekend getting the crap food out of the house and putting the healthy food in. This is going to include preparing quite a few items to freeze so that I won't be without a meal. I'll also get back on track with my menu planning.
One of the first aspects of the book is finding a weight-loss coach. I've found a great one, my BFF from way-back-when. She's an amazing friend and has lost 20+ since March and I know that she is going to be a great motivator for me. Another first part is to find two diet plans to work on. The Beck Diet Solution isn't a diet, so you have to find what will work for you on your own. I've decided to start back up on MM's prescribed eating plan for me which led to my 20 lb. weight loss last year. For my back-up, I'll rely on the good ole SBDiet.
I'm hopeful that this is going to be the final stretch for me. I want to do this for me, my husband, my future children (Lord-willing) and, now, Miss Crystal. I want to get out of this crap body that is holding me back and recreate what God intended it to be.
I'll start posting the stats and such tomorrow. I'll be doing an official starting weight on Monday and set some goals, set up a food journal and etc. after I've gotten a few days of the book under my over-sized belt.
Her death has also been a swift kick-in-the-pants for me as far as life goes. Life is SO fragile and can be taken away in a moment, so why shouldn't we live each moment to the fullest? It's about time that I start. The only problem is that my life will never be lived to the fullest as long as I'm overweight. As soon as I was able to process the fact that Crystal was gone, I had to face ME. I was not happy with what I saw and felt and, to be quite honest, I knew in an instant that I did not want to end my life looking and feeling the way I do.
Figuring out what step to take next was rather difficult. I want something that I can do, but I don't want to give up some of the things I love (like cooking). I considered Nutrisystem for a few days by reasoning that I would still have to cook for MM. But, if I'm not able to eat the food I make, it's not as rewarding. So Nutrisystem was scrapped. Then, I really thought about what part of weight loss was really holding me back. Was it exercise? No, not really. I love to work out. Was it knowing what to eat? No, not that, either. I know what to eat and when to eat it. What could it be, then? The only thing I could come up with was that there was some psychological block I have. After coming to that realization, I started searching for a solution.
My first thought was a support group of some sort. I found a Weight Watchers group, but it's an hour away on Tuesday nights, so I would have to leave work early AND be driving home late in the evening. Not good. I then thought about an online support group, but no-dice. It's too easy to get out of it. You just don't go online that day. Finally, I found what I'm praying will be an answer.
I purchased three books by Dr. Judith Beck, The Beck Diet Solution, Weight Loss Workbook, and The Beck Diet for Life. From the research I've done, the "Beck Solution" is a 6-week program that centers on cognitive therapy methods. The main point is to show the reader why they haven't lost weight and correct those sabotaging behaviors.
With MM's blessing, I've ordered the books with 2-day shipping, so they should be here by Friday. I'm planning on spending much of my weekend getting the crap food out of the house and putting the healthy food in. This is going to include preparing quite a few items to freeze so that I won't be without a meal. I'll also get back on track with my menu planning.
One of the first aspects of the book is finding a weight-loss coach. I've found a great one, my BFF from way-back-when. She's an amazing friend and has lost 20+ since March and I know that she is going to be a great motivator for me. Another first part is to find two diet plans to work on. The Beck Diet Solution isn't a diet, so you have to find what will work for you on your own. I've decided to start back up on MM's prescribed eating plan for me which led to my 20 lb. weight loss last year. For my back-up, I'll rely on the good ole SBDiet.
I'm hopeful that this is going to be the final stretch for me. I want to do this for me, my husband, my future children (Lord-willing) and, now, Miss Crystal. I want to get out of this crap body that is holding me back and recreate what God intended it to be.
I'll start posting the stats and such tomorrow. I'll be doing an official starting weight on Monday and set some goals, set up a food journal and etc. after I've gotten a few days of the book under my over-sized belt.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Thinking things over
I've had a pretty decent past few days. Sure, I've eaten a few too many snacks and my soda-drinking hasn't stopped, but my core meals are still great and I've been working out! I've been thinking about what I'm going through and wish that I had a place to turn, somewhere to go for support. I think it would be really great if there were a weight watchers group here, but I know that this small town would never support it. The accountability of a weekly weigh-in would be great, but mostly I want the companionship and support of women like me. I'm thinking what it would take to get a group like that started here. I know quite a few women that I see daily that are in the same boat; wanting to lose a lot of weight, but going at it alone. I have to admit that I'm not QUITE going at it alone. MM is a tremendous support to me, but sometimes he just doesn't know how to help or what I'm going through. I'm scared because I think it's a great idea, but I just don't know how to get it started or if I'd even be the right person to take charge of something like that.
I know that I can find plenty of support groups online, but I'm a bit tired of all of that. I want someone that I can sit in front of, face-to-face, and talk to. I want to be able to give someone a pat on the back for a job well-done and a hug for when times get tough. I'm just feeling this out and thinking it through right now. I'm not going to make any moves. For now, I will just pray. Please, dear reader, will you pray with me?
I know that I can find plenty of support groups online, but I'm a bit tired of all of that. I want someone that I can sit in front of, face-to-face, and talk to. I want to be able to give someone a pat on the back for a job well-done and a hug for when times get tough. I'm just feeling this out and thinking it through right now. I'm not going to make any moves. For now, I will just pray. Please, dear reader, will you pray with me?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
This is hard
We just got back from our mini-vacation in Ruidoso, NM. I didn't eat horrendously, but I ate badly enough that I've reverted back to some old bad habits. Sodas being one of them. Another is my sweet tooth. I had been doing a great job controlling it with fruits, yogurt and SF jello, but now I'm craving (and eating) chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. I also haven't been keeping the meat at bay as much as I am wanting to. I have kept my workouts up, but the two kind of counteract each other.
Yesterday's workout was tough. Another intense, short workout with push-ups, vertical jumps, forward jumps, deep squats and then skipping. SKIPPING?! Yes, skipping. It's embarrassing how much the skipping wore me out. The thing that ticked me off the most was that it took soooooo long to get around the lap skipping. Your whole body's engaged and moving, but you're going so slow, in reality. I really just wanted to break out into a sprint to get the lap over with a couple of times, but that wouldn't really be that great for my endurance and my "trainer" (MM) probably would have made me skip the lap over anyways.
I remember a particular moment quite clearly. I was in the middle of my 5th forward jump on round four of the rotation and thought to myself, "I would be kicking ass if I was eating right." And you know what, I'm right. Why can't I just do that, then? It is always the eating that gets to me. I've had burritos for both meals today and some Reese's PB Cups for snacks, not to mention the two sodas I've had. Yuck. It's so gross when I think about what I'm putting into my body. I'm thinking that I need to get back to food-journaling again, or maybe even posting my daily meals here. Maybe then I'll think twice about what I'm eating. I hope so. I've got to get out of this bad-food-funk!
Yesterday's workout was tough. Another intense, short workout with push-ups, vertical jumps, forward jumps, deep squats and then skipping. SKIPPING?! Yes, skipping. It's embarrassing how much the skipping wore me out. The thing that ticked me off the most was that it took soooooo long to get around the lap skipping. Your whole body's engaged and moving, but you're going so slow, in reality. I really just wanted to break out into a sprint to get the lap over with a couple of times, but that wouldn't really be that great for my endurance and my "trainer" (MM) probably would have made me skip the lap over anyways.
I remember a particular moment quite clearly. I was in the middle of my 5th forward jump on round four of the rotation and thought to myself, "I would be kicking ass if I was eating right." And you know what, I'm right. Why can't I just do that, then? It is always the eating that gets to me. I've had burritos for both meals today and some Reese's PB Cups for snacks, not to mention the two sodas I've had. Yuck. It's so gross when I think about what I'm putting into my body. I'm thinking that I need to get back to food-journaling again, or maybe even posting my daily meals here. Maybe then I'll think twice about what I'm eating. I hope so. I've got to get out of this bad-food-funk!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Wow...
That's all I can say. Wow. I feel great. I've had so much energy since really getting things together and changing my eating habits on Thursday of this week. I've already noticed a significant reduction in bloating and with my period nearing, that's BIG. MM even noticed a difference from last Sunday to this Sunday. Could it be? Is this the final push? I don't want to get too hopped up, but I think so.
I really thought the transition would be difficult. It hasn't been at all. I don't miss meat and I'm not really craving any of my old vices right now. I know it's early, but days 3 - 4 are normally my toughest and I'm not really facing any of those old challenges right now. Could I eat a piece of chocolate? Sure, but I'm not craving it at all. Considering the time of the month for me, I'm astounded to be able to honestly feel that way. It's amazing!
I have to keep my head on straight, though, and keep going. This is going to be a long, hard road, but I'm feeling good that I may have finally found the vehicle to get me to the end of it. What a blessing!
I really thought the transition would be difficult. It hasn't been at all. I don't miss meat and I'm not really craving any of my old vices right now. I know it's early, but days 3 - 4 are normally my toughest and I'm not really facing any of those old challenges right now. Could I eat a piece of chocolate? Sure, but I'm not craving it at all. Considering the time of the month for me, I'm astounded to be able to honestly feel that way. It's amazing!
I have to keep my head on straight, though, and keep going. This is going to be a long, hard road, but I'm feeling good that I may have finally found the vehicle to get me to the end of it. What a blessing!
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