Hard Night

Last night was a hard one. I was craving CHOCOLATE. And lots of it.

Yesterday started off well enough. I had healthy, on-plan snacks and meals, drank lots of water, had a nice, lunchtime walk, and had a great, surprise weigh-in. (That weigh-in thing is a long story, but the scale showed that I'm already losing weight.) After lunch, though, things took a downward turn. Someone brought in candy, Twizzlers, no less, one of my favorites. Then I started to feel a bit icky. You know that dull scratch in the back of your throat coupled with a stuffy nose that immediately creates that sense of dread? That's how I felt. And I said as much to MM via text. My plan was to go home and crash on the couch.

MM had been sick the weekend before and his started out the same way, so I was pretty sure I was going to be out for a day or two. Because of that, I decided to walk another 30 minutes when I got home, just in case I wasn't able to Friday-Sunday. That was a hooray moment, as I really didn't feel that bad, but not that great, either. I was glad to log 60 minutes of walking for the day, though.

Dinner was yummy, if a little bit too buttery, but it was salmon and I had lots of veggies with it, so I felt okay about it. Then 8:00 p.m. came around, and the chocolate-monster reared his ugly head. I made chocolate-chip pumpkin cookies for MM last weekend, bought some gourmet chili-caramels while shopping, and had a friend buy me three organic chocolate bars when she went out for lunch one day last week. So, all those delicious goodies are bagged up in the bottom drawer of the fridge just waiting for me to crack. I can't see them when I'm in the fridge but my goodness do I know they're there.

My first thought was to sneak a chocolate square while MM was in the shower, then I thought the little chocolate chips would be easier. Finally, before I could act on my deceitful thoughts, MM got out of the shower. Thank goodness. I was still craving chocolate, though, so I thought I might be able to get away with a mug of hot chocolate. No, that wouldn't do either. For me, eating chocolate leads to eating more chocolate. It's hard to have just one.

So, how did I remedy the situation? I ate a bowl of grapes to banish the stomach gurgles and went to bed early. Not the most ideal solution, but it worked!! In the end, though, I won the battle against my cravings. I didn't give in, even when I really wanted to. So, last night will be counted as a victory in my book, even though I struggled. I didn't cave and that's what's important in the long run. (Thank goodness for MM's timing, though!)

One day, down the road, I may be one of those people who can indulge in a square of dark chocolate every other day. Right now, though, with my resolve being so fresh and new, I must stay away from it until my body and my will power are ready!

This weekend I am going to start crocheting a ruffled scarf and matching beanie to keep my hands busy when the cravings hit. That will be my plan from now on: keep projects at the ready that will prevent me from eating. Not acceptable: throwing away all that delectable chocolate! That would just be too painful!!!